blurredskylines

 I joined the local library I pay the council tax bill Smoking cigarettes to see  How much time I could take off my student loan Jack of all trades Yet...Master of none I remember faintly It's the way I made me I started passing out on trains  All I hear is "All change! All change!" The girl I am is just fading But I promise I'm okay  I completed CBT!                    (I'm so over burn(t) out) I paid the grocery bill  and the gym membership I burnt the candle at both ends Now watch me come up with excuses to excuse myself Chasing the radiance I lost at 17 I cut a corner, lost the drawing board This place is just another purgatory and I'd promise you anything for another deal of the cards Instead I bite my tongue and choke on it, Should I quit this all or start venting?

 Beer and cigarettes for breakfast  breathing in all your low blows  I smoked myself into a bad mood, momentary lapse of impulse control... That's the way my father made his life a mess An exhibit, not a person I'm just a face in the crowd they'll  never forget about Deception's this way Watching me glow, surrender all control, Are you ready for your benediction? Not the kind of thing to last forever so follow me to the edge of the bridge I'll watch you all go up in flames with it Like the pariah of the village  I burned it all down just to feel its warmth I will be no man's peace, I begin to twist We'll laugh 'till we cry, So make up your signs from above  Soon everything will be a memory. You'll curse me once the thrill expires... So let's dance all night, Try to feel alive. Am I self-destructive or just stupid? All caught up in someone else's business all over It's only a matter of time 'till I run out of things to do Knowledge mig...

Reaching 22 and I thought I would've figured it out by now I've been running to catch up with All the life I've run away from Attached but disengaged Where's the authenticity in feeling? Disappointed and delusional Conclusions are within reach  but I can barely feel my face I am lightning that needs some grounding  I'm a storm of emotion  Wasted just like my potential  I'm paying the debts of people I've never met If I am to go around chasing rabbits  How long will it take to stumble down a rabbit hole? Seen by many misunderstood by all So I latibulate (quietly) Unsteady as a jammed-up gun Ready to shoot the wrong messenger at the right place and time As if I ever get better  Get it together  What if I woke up and I wasn't so desperate to run up that hill anymore? Clarity cuts deeper than the lies The closer we get to me  I'll turn into a different lie I'm the space in between widely optimistic and delusional  Nothing scares me more than my o...

 I just sit around waiting for you to come and save my day I'm a little girl that's left her pretense at home I don't think much about the bridges that I burned on my way out I just sometimes wish I wasn't so alone At the edge of any age, any city I've ever been to I hope one day I'll be able to sing the songs I've written Embrace me, stranger I'm getting tired  Somewhere in the way, I forgot I am my own somebody My strong girl act is cracking If I push myself to a breaking point Will there be a diamond waiting? Will there be anyone to hold back my hair? I'm a used cigarette end  just leave me in the cold Everything's on fire but I'll keep on flowing Is wanting to get better ever gonna be enough?

His bubble 'round my wrist I said: "Don't get too attached" Something new  just got out of something blue No white picket fence  something more exciting We're on borrowed time but come on over leave your pretense at home Tell me all your past Tell me all about your future Who can even afford to give a damn  what people say I'll make the bad decisions You make up the excuses Love runs dry We both let all the good ones go Never long enough to be in love  We only started sleeping just the other week  Just hold onto me for now  'cause you make my head spin  to the sound of your sweet nothings We bonded over  lovers that we've loved  and left  haunted wondering "How long will it take you to regret me too?" "How long will it take to make a good thing bad?" It's so easy to mistake a mirror for a soulmate just put me on you Say I'm your favorite  Let's roll, we're rolling stones What's your game? I'll never take a ri...

 Whatever's the vibe, I'm drowning in it  Nobody to blame but myself So are all the good times gone? It's alright, I'll just keep on hyperventilating on the bathroom floor A breakdown just to bow down  Not getting any wiser, Simply clinging onto whatever's left of my spine but I'm a loose bolt  and there's no complete machine Just like a cherry blossom  I look so pretty  but I'll be gone too soon  Will I ever have the time to enjoy it all? Freak out for another breakthrough  Drag myself through another day I'm the main attraction  Took a nosedive  and panicked in the bathroom  A little black dress  Such a big mess But I look divine  Maybe one day we'll be happy for a change Empty, impatiently anticipating  Dressed down like it's my birthday It's the best version you can get  Never a friend, just networking Completely desperate for a connection  But I'm making it fashion So sexy on command  Sell yourself...